The Narcissist/Sociopath Loves the Triple Hitter

She destroys your relationships. Narcissistic mothers are like tornadoes. Wherever they touch down families are torn apart, and wounds are inflicted.

Ah, yes, the primary job of the narc. First time I ever heard the phrase, 'Divide and Conquer' the NM was using it with righteous indignation. She bragged, "I rule my home with the divide and conquer method."  I thought to myself... yeah you do. She was proudly announcing that no child was ever going to come between her and her husband. Or her and anyone or anything else. Period. I never understood her preoccupation with children coming between parents. It never made any sense. I knew from my earliest memories that children enjoyed the parents - both of them - and the inclusion of family. No child, unless maybe a budding narc kid would even think of coming between his/her parents.

NM successfully divided each child from one another - our father from all of us - us from even loved pets to a degree, and on a  fascinating note: NM even divided ME from my SISTER'S horse. You say how can such an animal lover allow this: Well, you don't get the choice. She lies that you abused the horse and you are banned from ever going near the horse again.  Yeah, crushed doesn't even begin to explain the reaction - and shocked and puzzled. To be fair and even more introspective, my little sister knew I would NEVER abuse an animal and did not believe the NM. NM went on to divide us from our loving grandmother - us from our cousins - us from our uncles and aunts - us from our friends to the degree she had control - and of course she enjoyed trying to divide us from our creator - from LOVE.

Insight is required here as to what was in it for the NM to stop my relationship with my sister's horse. Logically speaking, in training this horse, I purchased riding equipment, horse paraphernalia, expensive brass and copper bits and the like. To afford this and other things like my new car, I was a server in a restaurant long hours making good money. NM didn't particularly enjoy decent amounts of money going to this horse. Without making further trips to the tack shop, the money spent on the NM might increase. Either way, it was satisfying to the NM in a variety of ways. She enjoyed complaining to my father that she saw me in the field with a lunge whip abusing the horse, which shocked and disappointed him, and also she could knock me down a few pegs after me bouncing into the house all excited to tell of the progress I was making training my sister's horse. Narcs/sociopaths love a double or triple hitter.

So that's how that works. For readers who are minors, you might have no choice. But work. Save your money. Move out permanently when you are old enough, and that's the best thing you can do. For the rest of us, we have a choice to go no contact and it's forever with the NM. That is our ONLY choice. 

The good news is when you do go NC your life begins. It is so much brighter. The confusion you suffered is GONE. Your confidence and self-worth soars! You begin to learn to love and respect yourself and offer unfettered love and real respect to yourself and others.  

Life Narc-Free.  Its a good thing.