Knowing what is Key in Beyond Forgiveness

Authenticity

I found the key to success in Life is the ability to let go of what isn't working (even without being able to foresee the future) and moving on with something that logically is (or might be) a better choice.  This requires Authenticity and retrospection.

By some miracle I was able to do this even before my recovery began.  Hence, my choice in divorcing the first husband in 1985 and marrying Khaled two weeks later. Best life changing decision I ever made.


For the heart Key, I have to say Authenticity, again, leads the way here.  We have to be true to our own hearts - to ourselves - and to our own needs and wants in life.  When we take care of our own heart and the heart of the child within us, we positively effect the lives of others. When we experience validation of and for our desires and needs we are naturally available to validate those of our loved ones.

The key to life I know you guys know is unconditional love.  Experiencing it, living it, and giving it throughout life. When love has no condition, there is no jealousy, no manipulation, no triangulation, NO CONTROL, no second guessing, no regret, no pain, no anger, AND no ulterior motive. Again, it's in short:  Authenticity.

When we do what we really love we are a SUCCESS - No matter what.
When we are true to our feelings and loyal to ourselves, we take care of our own HEART.
When we take care of ourselves, love, and fearlessly set boundaries - we are ready for LIFE.

These three keys open the doors to success in life.  It takes work and discipline to acquire these keys, but those of us here have learned that without them we end up entering unlocked doors where potentially unhealthy and toxic situations and people seem welcoming.

Without these keys, for those who have been abused, especially by narciopaths, being welcome is so tempting. Often, in the past, we jumped into a (welcoming), yet toxic situation, without much thought.

Authenticity - boundaries - loyalty to truth and trust

With love we take these with us everywhere, now, as we learn how to navigate the bumps and gaps along the way.

Without missing a beat, together we keep each other on point and on the pathway to the peace and healing.

I got up from here to fill my coffee cup and thought "You know what?  And when we falter, we run to social media closed groups or even here and tell what's going on. And we are always there to pick up the pieces and encourage each other." We all know so well what it's like to have moments of confusion and setbacks - even full days of disaster as we take a step or two backward.  But it is wonderful how the anti narc community throws out the safety net every single time!

I also thought about and often do, this one person who was having difficulty with going NC with the NM for several years. She mentioned I think a year ago that she wasn't quite ready because she just knows that there is a diamond in that relationship somewhere, and that she was sure to find it if only she were more patient and understanding.  She since did go no contact with the NM and I've been waiting to hear about whether she did ultimately find that diamond...  I had a feeling what the diamond was way back then and was hoping she would discover it also, and tell.  I have a feeling she knows and is just that modest yet to not reveal.  I think I am right in thinking the diamond in the relationship with her and the NM was HER all along. This girl is a diamond like no other. A very special and loving person - Huge heart - Wonderful brain -  and terrific human being.  The world is so lucky to have her. Most of my recovery is due to this girl's work, research, coaching and healing.  I love her.

So you see we all help each other and often we don't even know we are doing so.  Thank you all for all you've done for me and for others.

It is onward and upward for us ALL!!  KEYS in hand ...

Peace