It is totally evident that the Narcissist has always had Choices and Immense Controlling Ability

When one grows up with narcissists, it is evident that they do know exactly what they are doing.  They are the most calculating individuals alive.

Whether or not a narcissist hurts you is usually less important than acquiring the end to the means. They don't care enough about you to want to affect your life in any kind of way ... positive or negative.  So, in a twisted kind of way, narcs don't mean to hurt you personally. They are so self focused that it is their wants and needs that matter to the narc, not anything about you. So if their ways of going about getting what they need happens to hurt you... Oh well. That's where they don't care. That's where it seems intentional.

Intention. A narcissist does everything they do with great planning and conviction. They will purposefully hurt you in order to serve themselves.

Absolutely YES narcissists are in control at all times, and therefore they CAN control their behavior. However they choose not to. If it serves them better to be toxic in relating, that is how they will behave.
When a narcissist wants to gain position and it requires them to lie about others to mange this, they make a choice to put this plan into action. This requires them to be in control, and to control their own behavior so to serve themselves. During a narcs plan it might require for them to pretend for a while to be something and someone they are not. In order to pull this off they have to be able to control themselves and their behavior. So, the argument that it's not their fault and they have a 'disorder' and cannot control themselves is not entirely accurate.

They could stop if they wanted to, but the thing is narcissists will NEVER want to stop victimizing because that is certain death for them. They exist on other's energy, joy, money, success, power, and ability to empathize and willingness to trust and believe - Without being able to draw on others' abilities and character, the narcissist is going to have to do a lot of work. Yeah. That never appeals to them. They inevitably choose not to.

Sometimes they choose suicide over doing the work. Those could be the few narcissists who actually finally see what losers they really are and admit to themselves the lies they have told themselves and others. These are the ones I believe that have decided to stop the behavior, usually because they've been finally confronted by most of their victims. When a narc is backed into a corner they have a few choices .... narc attack, leave town and reinvent themselves, or suicide. The relativity of life's circumstances decides which of the three choices the narc makes.

The narc attack is the number one choice that has worked for them over decades. And changing identity, leaving town, while it is unusual and more work, it HAS been done. For those narcissists whose narc attack patterns have been exposed and this option has finally about come to an end, AND they aren't able to do the work of reinventing themselves - they are the ones we hear of suddenly committing suicide, seemingly for no reason.

Don't forget, the wearing of a mask or several masks and all the narc games is a big secret that they do not share with anyone. In the end, often after their death, is when the people of their lives come together and share their stories, finally revealing the degree to which the narcissist went to serve him/herself by destroying others during the lifetime of the narc.

It is totally evident that the narcissist has always had choices and immense controlling ability.