Beyond Forgiveness we are.. Without Anger or Pain...and Fearless we Love

My Son Khaled at Four in Egypt

So earlier I wrote about what the NM did to my father during his death - withholding his morphine.  And I mentioned I don't know how or from where forgiveness for such an act could come.

After posting, I thought to myself .. hm..  This new blog is called "Beyond Forgiveness" and maybe we could talk about that  a little more.

Yeah, I think whatever comes of what the NM did to him, there would have to be something far beyond forgiveness...  maybe more in the category of mercy.  Something to the degree of which I would have absolutely no idea.  I did mention mercy, but I don't know... I'm not by any means a member of clergy and know very little about mercy.

I only do know for a fact that I have said a few times in my life that it's a good thing there is a God because if it were up to us to forgive some things, or to be merciful for such atrocities uh.. yeah... I don't think much mercy would be had.

About this blog though and for all the atrocities that the narcs have done to all of us...  It is beyond forgiveness where we have to come to in life in order to totally get over what has happened - In order to actually move on without anger and pain.  It is something far beyond forgiveness and mercy that takes us there... brings us here I should say.

We are here .. away from all of that now.  And it is part mystery how we ARE here.  Let me just say that.

I thought after my therapy appointment today, about Robbin Williams.  You know, there comes a point in your life when crutches no longer work.. and you are looking at either getting better or getting dead.  Some folks see the work of getting better as worse than the chance one takes in committing suicide. Imagine that.

There are dozens of crutches and addictions that carry us limping along for decades, but then finally your body and mind tell you NO.  This isn't working anymore.  You HAVE to do the work to get better.

We have chosen to do the work and we are all getting better.  That doesn't mean those that haven't are less than..  It's just that we could see the choice.  A worthwhile choice.

That's just it. We could still see. I think Williams and others got beyond the point of being able to see anything any more.  These folks saw no choice.

Virginia Wolfe said, "I have ENDURED this custody"  about her condition.  I think that's where these folks have come to in life when they finally end it.  This has to be something of a mystery to us also... something far beyond our understanding..... something for the mercy of our creator.  All of which we could never understand.

Beyond Forgiveness ....  We are .....
Without Anger and Pain..... We remain....
Fearless....  We love....

And Because of that we are Still Here.