Standing my Ground....... taking you guys with me

So you guys are right here with me as I am faced with my first boundary keeping challenge.

You might remember the saga with my sister in law who lived here for years. I mean here as in my home where she eventually wriggled her way into my position in my own family??  Yeah that one.  In the end she planted herself at the right hand of my husband, was supplied a cell phone, bills paid, food, gas, even a car made available to her.. and lastly while I lay by then in bed with a black depression, she acquired my wardrobe. She interfered with my children and their father - our relationships. She tried to interfere between me and my husband but he adored me. Sick or not.. he would walk to the ends of the earth for me.

But he is healthy. That means he's not going to take on my battles .. I had to do that myself.  And as you all know, with years of hard work and in the end therapy, I finally did face that major battle on my own.  I got rid of her from my home and my life, AND by the literal grace of God, it didn't affect my relationship with my husband.

Only these kinds of people don't walk away easily. She returned last year and spent the time in a hotel, and is returning this year telling everyone she is doing the same. But my husband has hinted a few times that it would be nice if I would go with him to the airport and "cut the ice"... welcome her to stay here.  

If she were a normal person without an agenda, I'd do it in a heartbeat. Especially since her planned time is so short - but.....  NO.  This is no normal situation. And she is not a normal person. I've learned some really painful lessons in my lifetime and I'm not really up to having to learn another - especially when I already know what not to do.

All the years my kids were teenagers she was living here off from us and it was exactly like paying for four kids instead of three. There were plenty of times my husband had to tell me we couldn't afford the simplest things because we were strapped.  

It was when not only was she shopping for things to take home, but the last straw was when she purchased for I think six hundred and fifty dollars, an IPhone ,5 that I lost it.  We were paying for her all these years and she was making my life miserable and she can afford an IPhone 5!  And airlines tickets.. and .. and ... and...  The woman has her own money.  That's just it. If she were destitute, my attitude would be entirely different, but she has her own money, a newly refurbished flat, and two successful sons - one who is btw very well to do in Egypt as a high placed corporate executive for the American drug company, Novartis.  But, their wives can't stand this woman either, so she was splitting her time between the States and Egypt.  Making all of us miserable.

I remember telling her "Your not my mother or even my mother in law, and I have no obligation to take care of you." Doesn't matter. She was hanging tight to what she thought she had.

I finally told her she got enough off from us for ten years and to be grateful for that - and to not return here for any longer than three days. She replied that she would never step foot in my home again, and I was fine with that answer. THAT'S the way I'd like to keep it.  It was her choice, but a great one.

Now, she's trying the last resort trick of all narcs.  She's telling everyone she's going to the United States and staying in a hotel because she thinks she's been a burden to us for some time and it was wrong of her.

 This is what has my husband rolling over and giving me the doggie eyes.  I can't.  I just can't.  I love and care for myself too much to betray what has taken me so long to achieve -  Self respect in placing that boundary with her. 

So you heard it here first fellow healers...   I stand strong and with my newly acquired voice and self respect. I am going to have a calm, clear discussion with the hubbers.