Getting back Out-There

The Key to a Successful Future begins with Healthy Boundaries

Now is the time in recovery when we are tested. It's when life goes on and we are a part of it - relating with others in healthy ways.

After learning how to place healthy boundaries and to enforce them, we no longer hope for a significant other to make things right for us. Now we take care of ourselves in every way possible and necessary. We have become in effect the mother that we never had, and our own best protector.

The tools we've acquired over the course of the past many years while recovering from narcissistic abuse must now be utilized daily. From the moment we awake in the morning to the time we sleep again at night our awareness needs to be keenly focused on what it is that is best for us first and our loved ones.

I cannot stress enough the importance of the using and keeping of those boundaries for this stage in recovery. We are going back out there - and allowing some of the out-there, in here. This requires BOUNDARIES to be solid and enforced.

You Do Not Have to Allow Any Person to enter your Inner Circle whom you Find to be Negative, Toxic, and or Damaging to yourself or Others. Period. Trust your feelings and enforce boundaries.

If a loved one tries to inquire whether you might be able to tolerate NOW a banished narcissist say in their family whom they love, it HAS to be your priority to answer clearly. You need to make it known that while it is understandable that since this loved one has been removed from "our" inner circle it's become uncomfortable for "others," but it is firstly UNHEALTHY for YOU to allow them or any narcissist back into your life.

The loved one must love you enough to really understand that this is no longer a possibility because it is a matter frankly of your life or death that you remain narcissist-free, abuse-free.

The value of one's life is way more important than is the accommodation of a narcissist.