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I now have days that the NM doesn't even cross my mind, having only rarely recalled her assaults.
If a negative thought or memory does pop up - I have learned to allow it to just be and then pass right through.
Choosing to entertain only positive and neutral thoughts for the most part now, is the norm.
I still think sweetly about Dad everyday - a few times a day. It's only been five years since his death, so that might be about how it should be. And I do dream of him once in a while. It's nice to see him again in my dreams.
A couple years ago this month I was writing about losing the fear in all areas of my life because it was then that I learned that fear is the exact opposite of love. So, it's two years and going strong with very little glimpses of fear as opposed to carrying tons of it my whole life before. What a difference!!
And I still keep myself control-free. Along with the usage of those all important personal boundaries - things couldn't be better. Well, maybe had I learned all of this decades ago, but there is a reservoir of happiness for getting better now - where before it was a deep ocean of despair.
I noticed when I'm with my adult children, they have a nice way of reinforcing their own boundaries just in conversation and interactions - playing, cooking, traveling - you name it. It's wonderful, because it's a gentle reminder for me - and I so respect that Also, I place my own with them and others and everything goes smoothly There is NO mind reading, chaos, or misunderstandings.
Wonderful. It really is.
It's nice evolving and communicating - laughing and learning all while we are narcissist-FREE. I mean it is such a gift to live a normal life - no lurking, other shoes to drop, walking on eggshells, chaos, confusion, and exhaustion.
Instead, it's days full of extra time, clarity, and Love.
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